Specialities

Men

 

Most men, for the most part, don't like to admit that they struggle with life. We have been told that ‘real men don’t cry or have problems’. So we spend our lives trying to look like we have it ‘all together’ - when in reality - sometimes life is a total train wreck! Life is often hard, full of problems, pain, difficult, messy and sometimes it is just unbearable. That’s where counseling comes in. Counseling allows men to wrestle with life’s problems with the help of a skilled therapist who understands life’s problems and knows how to deal with them. Presidents, Kings, Leaders, and men from all backgrounds, education, status and strengths realize that seeking good counsel from a skilled professional is called Wisdom! (Prov.13:10)


"Christian Counseling" adds in a additional dimension that is often overlooked -

‘the GOD factor’. As much as we might think we are the center of the Universe - we are not! GOD is actively at work to capture our attention so that we can build a healthy relationship with Him and bring Him into the center of our lives.

Some of the issues that men tend to struggle with are...​

​* GOD

* Marriage Issues

* Wife, Children & Teenagers
* Sex
* Money
* Loneliness
* Depression
* Fear, Obligation, Guilt, Shame
* Double / Multiple Lives
* Work, Goals, Success, Failure
* Fantasy & Obsession
* The Other Woman or Man
* Perfume, little black dress

* The "What if ..." factor

* Unresolved Dad / Mom Issues

* Outstanding accounts / debts

* Life Stage Issues

* Lack of Friendships

* Telling the truth

* Control Issues

​* Hard Heart 
* Narcissism
* Anger, frustration, revenge 

* Entitlements, Selfishness
* Inappropriate thoughts

* Inappropriate feelings/emotions
* Inappropriate choices
* Inappropriate behaviors

* Inappropriate relationships

* Obsessed with work / success / power / fame / money / respect.
* Lack of feelings and emotions

 

* Personal Failures

* Unresolved sin
* Communication

* Codependency
* Security

* Identity & Integrity
* Purpose
* Significance & Worth
* Values

* A Need to Belong
* Pain / Fear / Shame

* Alcohol, Drugs, Meds, 

Gambling, Food, Games,

Porn, Sexting, SA (1>4). 
* Survival
* The Need for "More" ...  

 

                             Couples

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could always live in marital bliss? Unfortunately, couples have been struggling to hold it together since the Garden of Eden. As much as we try, we are often are bombarded with problems and pressures of...

* world views

* communication

* money
* values

* husband / wife roles

* sexual needs / desires
* intimacy

* loneliness

* fidelity
* life stages & health issues

* infertility / child birth

* adoption
* infants, children, teens

* blended families

* stepchildren

* grandchildren

* ex husbands/wives, lovers
* In-Laws & Out-Laws

* conflict resolution
* past "luggage"
* unresolved sin issues

* unforgiveness, guilt, shame

* decision making

* work schedules

* income, investments, savings, retirement
* travel needs and desires
* Gifts, talents, skills, desires

 * character qualities

* spiritual life & health
* spiritual maturity
* spiritual leadership

* worship styles & desires

* spiritual gifts issues

* cults, occult, spiritual abuse

* loss of faith, hope & love

* love & commitment

* love and respect

* priorities, purpose & goals

* decision making, B/W, color

* weekly planning meeting
* date nights

* milestone celebrations

* long term planning

* end of life issues
* boundaries

* fighting, anger, drama

* emotional blackmail
* trauma
* abuse

* abandonment

* M/F thinking vs feeling
* sexual or physical pain
* past relationships
* unfaithfulness

* sexual pain
* sexual dysfunction

* porn, sexual addiction

* fun

* love & respect

* love making

* friends, groups

* pets

* freedom & responsibility

* career issues

* health

* temptation
* identity
* housing, insurance

* transportation needs
* roles & responsibilities

* perfect vs blameless

* gender differences

* love making

* health / weight issues
* infidelity / adultery
* enemies
* aging parents
* codependency
* narcissism

* selfishness

* being adults

* spiritual, mental, emotional, volitional, behavioral and relational health

Love, marriage and families are messy and hard work!​​

 

My wife and I got married back in August of 1977. In many ways we were very, very different from each other. Money, education and world views. Up until 1967 (when I received Christ as my Savior) my life was a total mess and it took GOD many years to change my heart and my life. My wife and I both needed counseling because we both came from unhealthy homes and we both had dragged into the marriage a lot of pain and confusion. My Bride and I have come through some very deep, dark and dangerous valleys together. Yet in spite of all the hardships, pain and mess there has been a few things that drew us together…

1) We both deeply love GOD. He is our Rock, Our Life, foundation, compass and our “plumbline”.

2) We both are deeply committed to love and respect each other, in spite of our differences.

3) We both pray and seek for GOD’s best for each other.

4) If we don’t have the answers, we all know how to seek out Godly counsel while we patiently pray for each other.  

 

No one has ever said that life, marriage, work or raising children would be easy. But putting GOD first, our personal health second, our marriage relationship third, our kids and grandkids fourth and developing healthy friendships / support systems fifth can make life, marriage and raising a family a true blessing - no matter how rough the road may have gotten. 

 

Pre-engagement Counseling

Pre-engagement Counseling is the process of helping young couples discover and understand the person they want to marry ... before they say “I do!”. It is  also the process of getting rid of as much “baggage” and as many "thinking errors" as possible so that they are not dragged into the marriage.


The difference between pre-engagement and premarital counseling is that

pre-engagement counseling should happen before there is an engagement

and all the invitations are sent out. The benefit of pre-engagement counseling is that it gives the couple an opportunity to take a hard look at each other without the pressures and commitments of an impending wedding. This tends to be a more objective and clear thinking approach to examining the couple’s relationship. Although the hope and plan is that the couple go on to be married, the goal of the therapist is to help each person know and understand who they are about to marry and what they are getting themselves into. For this to happen the couple will discuss a number of relevant topics such as ... spiritual maturity, gender roles, budgets, dreams and goals, family history, traditions, values and expectations, past dating relationships, sex, addictions, mental, emotional, volitional, physical and relational health.

 

Inappropriate Sexual Behaviors and Addictions

Fifty years ago the concept of "Sexual Addiction" was totally foreign to us. It was thought that if a person had continual desire for sex that they were just "horny", lustful, affectionate, reprobate or just being a “Guy". Now we have a better understanding that there are two major types of addictions. “Substance Addictions” (such as alcohol, drugs {illegal or prescription}, nicotine, caffeine and/or food) and "Behavioral Addictions" (such as sex addiction, love addiction, gambling, gaming, spending, stealing, shopping, cleaning or working).


The statistics are now in ... In 2017 the National Survey on Drug Use and Health (NSDUH) discovered that 19.7 million American adults battled a substance use, about 10.6 million adults had an addiction to alcohol, 5% of the population struggle with food addictions and approximately 30 million+ men and women struggle with a broad spectrum of inappropriate sexual behaviors and sexual addictions. Sexual addiction is now the #1 reason marriages end in divorce in America.


Although each addiction is unique, sexual addiction tends to be one of the most damaging of all the addictions. Sexual Addiction damages a person’s heart (i.e. their theology, Identity, purpose, significance, sense of belonging & security, values, and how a person deals with pain and reward), thoughts, feelings, choices, behaviors and relationships (especially the marriage relationship).

For more information about this topic please continue on the following separate page...

 

                 Sexual addiction and other inappropriate sexual behaviors.