Life is hard.
Some seasons are more difficult than others.
Most men try to manage their problems, pain, confusion
and loneliness on their own. When a crisis hits, they find
they need help but don’t know where to turn. That’s when
a skilled professional Christian counselor becomes a helpful
and welcomed confidant, adviser and brother in Christ.
Ross has helped many men navigate through some very
difficult issues and has equipped them with the necessary
tools to manage and to overcome the difficult seasons of life.
Since the Garden of Eden couples have struggled with relationships.
Each person understands the reasons and justifications for their
values, logic, feelings, choices and behaviors. Many couples find
it difficult to view some conflicts from any perspective other than
their own. Even when couples know that their communication skills
need improvement, they are at a loss on how to do that.
Ross enjoys helping couples work together to develop the necessary
skills of true listening, processing, understanding and reflecting. He
has seen many breakthroughs at the heart level when both people
learn the values of truth, trust, confession and true forgiveness.
Couples often grow closer together as they give up old self centered
patterns and they learn to value, listen, understand, pray for and
encourage each other.
By applying a God-honoring approach to their relationship, couples
are able to rebuild and watch their marriage and their families get
healthy and whole.
Pre-Engagement Counseling is one of the best investments
a couple can spend on their relationship.
Notice, the term is "Pre-Engagement", not Premarital. When
a couple takes the time to carefully examine their relationship
before they send out wedding invitations, they are preparing
their marriage for success. The 6-8 weeks process allows them
to get beyond the surface and discover the true heart and core
of the person they want to marry.
When this step in skipped, many newly married couples have
come to Ross saying they wished they had been able to start
working on getting rid of old wounds and painful issues in their
lives before they walked down the aisle. Some believed that
their love for each other would somehow magically fix years
of unresolved issues.Then once married they discover that
their individual issues begin to commingle and start to create
new problems that damage their relationship.
The value of Pre-Engagement counseling pays off many times
over when a couple is able to confidently commit themselves
to each other with everything out in the open and dealt with.
Their relationship has the best chance of survival if it is built on
a solid foundation of truth. Marriage must be built on truth in
order for each person to trust and love each other. Couples that
learn the important interrelationship between truth, trust and love
- become free to deeply love God, themselves and their future
The process can feel brutal on the front end of your relationship,
but Ross has seen that it is much more painful and difficult to
work through personal problems once the "two become one".
The definition of an addiction is: “The inability to stop or control a system of thoughts, feelings, choices and/or behaviors, in spite of its
consequences, for the purpose of self-medication".
Sexual addiction (SA) is often overlooked as a serious issue. Many
see it as a simple problem with lust and porn. Unfortunately, sexual
addiction damages every area in a person's life... their heart, thoughts,
feelings, choices, behaviors, the frontal lobe of the brain and their most
valued relationships. Sexual addiction spans four different categories
of sexual behaviors. It is evaluated by at least fifteen criteria, it often
follows a specific cycle of values, beliefs, thoughts, feelings and
behaviors. Sexual addiction is not a on/off light switch. Sex is more
like a system of valves that need to be slowly opened and closed
at appropriate times and situations.
Once a client understands that they have problem and see it as
an addiction, Ross’ counseling sessions focus on resolving the
heart issues of why the client is using this addiction to medicate.
Many clients who have come to Ross have already been through
various rehab programs that advocated change of outward behavior
without getting to the heart issues that initiate, fuel and empower
Ross has been helping men break free from the chains of Sexual
Addiction since 1998. He has counseled straight and gay men,
couples, large and small groups. He has published articles on the
topic and created material that has been used for over 15 years
by church men’s groups.
Most men and couples who go through typical therapy don't realize
how difficult it is to break a sexual addiction. Ross has been down
this road many times and has helped many men and their spouses
break free so that they can rebuild their lives, their marriages and
For more information and resources about sexual addiction,